Marriage counseling can help. Generally, distressed couples recognize that they have gotten caught up in negative interaction patterns and want to improve their communication and connection. I utilize Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) which works to address the negative patterns rather than the original difference or argument. Shifting the patterns of interaction leads to long term relief and improvement in relationship satisfaction.
EFT uses the concepts of attachment theory to help couples understand where distress in relationships originates. Distress results from the perceived threat to basic adult needs for safety, security and closeness in intimate relationships. EFT helps couples to de-escalate, slow things down, and start to feel, think, and communicate to their partner what is really going on below the surface, to help them connect in a powerful way. This results in a stronger bond between the couple, and an increased ability to feel safe and secure, communicate, and solve problems more easily.
EFT was developed in the 1980s and has multiple research studies to demonstrate its effectiveness. Dr. Susan Johnson is the most well-known EFT therapist, and she and her colleagues have created the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy. Her books, Hold Me Tight and Love Sense, are both excellent resources to get a better understanding of the method. I am currently in process to become a Certified EFT Therapist after completing multiple courses and workshops in the EFT method.
Contact me to learn more about how we can work together.
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